Monday, February 23, 2009

"the holy spirit told me.."

So this weekend went well. Everyone came over Saturday night and Ham and I bbq'd for everyone and they LOVED it. They also loved him. My grandma said the holy spirit told her that he was a good guy. I was like "HAH! Wait til you see when we're in an arguement.."

And argue we did..allllll the way to Mtn. Home...when we got there...and alllll .. well no not on the way back b/c he slept the whole way. I swear if we're not fighting we're perfect and if we're not perfect we're fighting. I love him though. I love him a lot.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Home.

Ham and I are going home tonight for the weekend. My dad is back at work up in Alaska and my sister will be in Hot Springs until Saturday evening so it'll just be mom, Ham, and I. I'm really looking forward to it because it'll be relaxing and the three of us can catch up.


There's something about going home these days that is theraputic to my soul. It puts me back in the mental state I belong in. Sometimes I think that I want to move back but there's no way I ever could..at least right now.


Also, this weekend, Ham will be meeting my aunt and uncle (who are like my 2nd parents) and my cousins (who are my other two sisters) and my grandma. We're going to BBQ on Saturday night and just have a relaxing evening so they can all get to know each other. I know Ham is nervous out of his mind but I hope everything goes well. I'll give you the update on Monday.


Home is where my heart is. Truly.


Thursday, February 12, 2009

heartbeat.

I saw you and heard you for the first time.


May strength be with me.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Luis.

I find myself, these days, to become very irritated by the smallest things.

- There is a lawyer in my office, Jason, and his office is very close to my desk. In order for him to get to the other lawyer's offices he has to walk by my desk. Well he walks past my desk like 50 times a day and his walk is very loud and fast. By the 10th time I want to tackle him and scream .. STAY IN YOUR OFFICE AND QUIT WALKING AROUND! But I don't...I smile when he walks by and secretly chew him out in my head.

It's weird how I let stuff like that get to me. (Speaking of Jason .. he JUST walked by for maybe the 8th time today.) I become angry at people or things because of tiny things that I shouldn't let get to me. I have an anger problem I need to work on.

I titled this "Luis." because of a little Mexican man. Everyone who works in this building that I work on parks in the parking garage. When you come into the garage you either swipe your card or get a ticket. In the mornings, Luis the parking deck guy, stands by the ticket machine and hands your ticket to you. So every morning he hands me my ticket, says hello and I say hello or good morning back. I was thinking today after we said our good mornings how each day varies on the tone of my voice and how I say good morning. I know he is the one person that can very well tell what kind of mood I'm in by the way I speak to him or the expression on my face. I bet he knows a lot about people in this building. I envy him because every morning his tone and expression never changes. He's always chipper and happy to be up. I need to grasp more of Luis's personality and posess it within me.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

25 Things.

I did this on Facebook because I was bored at work so I figured I'd post it on here.


1. My name is Kasey LaKay Bass. My middle name is also my mom's middle name which is her parents (my grandparents) names put together. Larry & Karran..weird.. at least I think it's weird to put those together and get LaKay but I LOVE my middle name.
2. I am from Mountain Home and have a weird love/hate relationship with it. When I'm gone for too long I can't wait to get back but when I'm there all I want to do is come back to Little Rock.
3. I am currently not taking any classes and sometimes that is scary because I feel as though I'm falling behind but I'm also the type of person who needs to find myself before I go making any decisions about my career. So I'm okay with not being in college right now.
4. My parents are trying to sell our entire place and move somewhere on the Arkansas River. In some ways I'd love for them to be closer to me but in others I can't believe the house that I grow up in will belong to someone else. That is home and no other place will ever be.
5. My life has never been just easy. It's been easier than other yes but I seem to have always had to struggle. Whether it was grades or the boys I like or the stupid decisions I made that always seemed to come back and bite me. Everything that wasn't easy I could've changed but it's almost like I manage better if life is harder. My mom said some people, when born, just have it tougher.
6. I was born in Alaska. I still have family up there and I get to go there more often than most. I would NEVER EVER live there. It's too cold and too depressing sometimes but as for the scenery/landscape it is the most beautiful compared to anywhere I've ever been. I think everyone should go at least once just to experience raw, untouched nature.
7. Sometimes I struggle with my "faith". Sometimes I wonder if there really is a God or if everyone is making a huge fuss over nothing. My mom asked me just recently if I ever pray and I got to thinking about it. When I do pray I don't pray to God. I either pray to "whomever is listening" or to my aunt Gayla who died in 2006 of cancer. I know there's a greater being out there I am just unsure of what or who it is.
8. Sometimes I want a tattoo and sometimes I don't. I know if I ever get one it will have to have a great meaning that I would love to remember forever. But, for example, last night I was watching tv and this girl who was REALLY pretty had a tattoo on her face. It looked gorgeous on her now but what about when she's 80. That's going to be hideous. I don't know..I have so much "back and forth" with them I doubt I'll ever get one.
9. I have 3 best friends. They are all so different and each friendship does something different for me.
10. I am a momma's girl. I talk to my mom all day, everyday. If we're not e-mailing then I'm talking to her on the phone. I've never been a daddy's girl. I used to want to be so bad but I was never able to please him. I've come to the realization that I love my dad and he loves me but to understand each other..that will never happen.
11. I am a very jealous person when I am in a relationship. Sometimes, if I feel close enough to you, I think I push people away with my jealousy. When my boyfriend and I are watching tv and there's a pretty girl and he makes even the slightest comment I get steaming mad..I never actually let him know that but I'm really mad. I wish I wasn't so insecure sometimes.
12. I have a very weird habit that drives me absolutely crazy. Sometimes I'll do it for a very long time..like months and sometimes I won't do it for months. I'm in a stage right now where I'm not doing it. I count syllables. When I hear someone say something I may repeat it in my head and count how many syllables are in that sentence or phrase. For example, let's say someone just said, "Let's go get lunch." I would repeat that in my head and count the syllables. There are 6 syllables. I love it when sentences have 6 or 8 syllables..all even numbers are good but 6 and 8 are the best. If something has an odd number of syllables I'll add a word just to make it even. I don't know what's wrong with me but I've been doing that for years now.
13. I want to dye my hair brown but I can't work up the courage to do it. I've been blonde my whole life and want to try something new.
14. After I graduated highschool in 2007 and moved to Little Rock I partied every night of the week. I went to bars and clubs and partied all the time. Now the thought of going out and socializing just grosses me out. It takes too much time and effort to find the outfit, then drive somewhere, and then pretend to like a bunch of people that are there. I miss some people but for the most part I'd rather sit at home with my dog and my boyfriend, get takeout and watch a movie. I really miss hanging out with people from highschool. I miss going to Buff's, the bonfires, the random nights where everyone just got close and there were no secrets. That's what I really, really miss.
15. There are givers and takers. I am truly a giver. I give, give, give, give, give to the point where I'm mad at myself but to see other people happy is a gift to me.
16. I want nice things someday. I want a nice house of my own and a nice car and nice, expensive clothes but I also think if I had nothing I could be happy. I think I could be happy as long as I'm surrounded by the people that I love. When I have problems, esp. money problems, and I'm with the people I love I don't ever think about money.
17. I have had a weight issue ever since jr. high. Not a big one just 20 lbs that I'm really good at hiding but drives me absolutely crazy. I'm gaining weight now and it really depresses me. I talk about working out but I'm terrible with the follow through. I look at other girls bodies and just wish like crazy that could be me. I will never look the way I want to look.
18. My skin doesn't tan easily. I burn and then tan and to get a really good tan I have to lay out for hours and hours for weeks and weeks. I don't have the patience. I have very fair skin and people always make comments about it. They don't do it to hurt my feelings but deep down I wish I could have a dark, beautiful tan. It's just so much more appealing.
19. My mom and I's dream is to open up a little store in Little Rock. We would travel to Mexico and buy a bunch of beautiful jewelry like amber and topaz..just really unique looking stuff. Then we'd open up a jewelry store/botique somewhere in Little Rock. That's really what I've always wanted to do anyways. I've always wanted my own botique and to open it with my mom would be a dream come true. Just wait..we'll have it someday :)
20. I HATE to cook and clean. I'm so messy that I gross myself out sometimes. I don't know how to cook anything if it doesn't come with instructions and I'd rather go through a drive thru or look at a menu. I feel sorry for the man I marry and hopefully he can accept me for being a terrible housewife. Although, deep down, I wish I enjoyed it and I'm kind of hoping I grow into the whole domesticated thing.
21. Everytime I see a plane I wonder where it's going, who's on there and what type of lives they lead. I'm curious about strangers.
22. I love dogs, esp. big ones and pit bulls. I have the sweetest little pit bull now named Hancock and he's the love of my life. I call him my little boy or my poo poo. When I have a family I want 2 really big dogs and one pit bull. No cats please.
23. I spend a lot of money on NOTHING. I can run through 200 dollars in WalMart like it's nothing and then have to nickel and dime to eat until my next paycheck. I seriously need a money management class or therapist. I can't do that the rest of my life.
24. The older my sister gets the more I look up to her. She's so smart and beautiful. She has different outlooks on life and her walk in life is going to be so much different than mine. I can't wait to see what life brings her because I know it's going to be an interesting story.
25. Mexico, specifically Playa del Carmen, is one of my favorite places in the world.