Mmmmm.

Ze Birthday Party.

Last night, I went and exchanged some jeans that don't fit me because I'm gaining weight rapidly :) I also picked up Megan's birthday gift which I hope she loves! Anyways, when I got back home Ham and I were sitting in the living room and I called my mom just to say hi. I was telling her about the birthday gift and about me going to Megan's birthday party if I'm home when she has it and Ham just started glaring at me. He got mad because I'm going to a party. How ridiculous is that? He goes out ALLLL the time and will stay out til 5:30 in the morning but I can't go to my friends birthday party?

It's all starting to wear and tear on me and I'm not sure if I can take much more of the ridiculous fighting that we do. These days, I tend to find myself wondering what it would be like to be back with old boyfriends but I know that's just me not wanting to be "alone" if I break up with him. If we do break up (and I know how ridiculously juvenilistic this sounds) it's going to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. I'm closer to him than I've ever been with any of my past boyfriends and I can't imagine letting all that go right now. Although, deep down inside I know it'd be for the better. We don't belong together. Wow, that was weird to actually say that we don't belong together. Even the signs say we don't belong together..a gemini and a cancer..no way that'd ever work.

I'm also worried because I was writing my sister a letter and there was a lot about him in there and how we don't work together and I left it on the kitchen table this morning. I'm praying to God he wont' pick it up and read it. He's usually not snoopy like that but I'm still praying. I'm going to rush home on my lunch break and get it. I need to mail it to her anyways.

Anyways, my cousin is coming in town to stay with me Saturday night and then he's going to Mtn. Home to my house where all my family will be gathering for Christmas. I can't go til Tuesday night when I get off work. Stupid job. I just want to be normal and go home for Christmas for like a month. Maybe I should've went to college.

What am I going to do with my life?
I feel cluttered.

Icicle.

I left my house this morning at 7:40 to go to work on the icy roads. What is usually a 15 minute drive was a 40 minute drive this morning. The interstate was sheer ice and everyone was in one big traffic jam. I finally made it and realized I, other than two of the partners at the firm, was the only one at work. So now there's a few of us here but it's really quiet and not a whole lot is going on. Maybe I'll get to go home early :)

I got 2 beautiful dresses and a pair of jeans from Francesca's last night.
There was so much stuff in there it almost made me mad that I'm on a budget. I want a lot of stuff from there..
To name a few...

My Weekend.

My weekend consisted mainly of shopping and my mom and being mad at Ham :)

Friday night, Ham and I got a pint of Pinnacle and decided to drink that together with some papaya juice. Well Ham and I are both light weights and surprisingly, I never go that drunk. Ham on the other hand, well he was ironing his pants because he was going to go out and ended up throwing up. Hah, I love that kid. He can't handle his alcohol.

Anyways, Saturday morning my mom called and asked if it'd be a good day/night for her to come down and go shopping. Of course I agreed to that. We went to Bobbi Brown and got out makeup done and bought me all new makeup so I'm lookin' fresh this morning ;). I also found my new favorite store while she was here...Fransesca's. I'm def. going back today after I get off work to get a few dresses and a pair of jeans.

Last night (Sunday), Ham and I went and got some movies, one of them being The Brave One.
Wow, what a great movie. Definitely one of my new favorites. I know my mom reads this blog so mom when you read this you and dad DEF. need to go rent that movie! I stayed up til 2 finishing that movie because it was so good I didn't want to fall asleep. By the end of the movie, Ham and I were both so into it that Ham said, "Okay, we may need to stop it before I get teary-eyed." I don't care for Jodie Foster but she was superb in this movie and Terrance Howard...well I don't even have to say anything..he's a genius.

What I am trying to say is: Good movie. Must see.

Lovers&Friends.

The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inner most hearts, ever quite wish to. ~Dodie Smith



Yes, mother. I can see you are flawed. You have not hidden it. That is your greatest gift to me. ~ Alice Walker



To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time. ~Clara Ortega



Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you. ~Author Unknown



You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die. A spider's life can't help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that. ~ Charlotte , "Charlotte's Web"



It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you." ~A.A. Milne

Office Party.

So, last night was CNJ's annual Christmas Party at Larry's house. I didn't want to go by myself because I'm still fairly new to the firm and I just wanted someone that I knew really well there with me; so Erik came with me. All I had to tell him was there was going to be really nice food and an open bar and he was ready!

We got to the party at around 7:30. The house was gorgeous. They had people taking your coats, getting you drinks, and little things like that. So Erik immediately, of course, goes to the bar and gets a jack and coke for him and brings me a cosmo (sweet boy). We walked around and socialized for a little while and then it was time to eat. The food was absolutely wonderful. It was catered from Boulevard so if you ever need a good caterer...Boulevard is the place to go.

After dinner, Erik got another drink and also got me another cosmo. Then somewhere after my 3rd cosmo it was like somehow, someway Erik had already drank double the jack and cokes to my cosmos. I just remember thinking to myself, "Oh dear God no, please don't let him get wasted." But it was already a done deal. I still don't know how many he had but he was GONE.

He would "whisper" but really be yelling about people at the party. He tried to hit on one of the partner's daughters. He was having to grab on to stuff to keep from wobbling while he walked. It was just altogether bad.

So for all of you single girls out there who are considering Erik as a potential, significant other. Do not bring him to an office party with an open bar.

After I got home and rid of him it felt so nice just to lay on the couch with Ham and talk and laugh and cuddle. It was good to be home.

Old Woman.

so I'm currently drooling over.. :



Someone buy me Christian Dior.


So last night Ham, Erik, and I went to Walmart and decided to get some movies to watch because we are sick of tv. I picked out Mr. Brooks and Ham got Borderland. Mr. Brooks was okay. I was a little disappointed on the acting and the overall setup of the movie. The storyline is brilliant they just needed to put more thought into it..at least in my opinion. Ham's movie Borderland looks RIDICULOUS! It's some gorey, horror movie about these things that attack these teenagers in Mexico. Oh, how I can't wait to sit down and watch that tonight.

Oh, I completely forgot I won't be watching any movies tonight. I will be going to our office party tonight at one of the partner's houses (I work at a law firm). Apparentely his house is HUGE and there will be an open bar. Woohoo! Hah, I actually think I'll just show up say hello to everyone and then leave pretty early. I'd rather be at home on the couch watching tv.

The older I get the more I just like to be at home. If someone asked me right now if I wanted to go downtown with them Friday night to On the Rocks and party all night or stay in and watch a good movie on the couch.... I would say movie/couch. I'm more of a homebody now than I've ever been before.

I'm just an old woman trapped in this young body.